Happy New Year To Menopausal Goddesses Everywhere

It’s that time again - time to peek back at the year coming to a close and to look ahead to creating a brand new year.

I used to forget to look back at how much I had accomplished, enjoyed, and lived each year. I was much too focused on what lay ahead and how I might want to improve myself. You know: more exercise, better health habits, being more organized, blah blah blah.

About six years ago, I started doing “Done Lists” at the end of each year, in order to not only celebrate what I’d lived, but to freaking REMEMBER it! With the advent of menopause, remembering became a lost art, that needed a little nudge (I used my calendar to make notes all year and that helped me re-view what happened.)

After celebrating the passing year, it’s natural to then look ahead to the coming one. Every New Year’s eve, I have this delicious feeling of a clean slate with all possibilities open. Most of us goddesses don’t make New Year’s resolutions anymore. We know that particular activity to be a slippery, guilt-iced slope that will only irritate us in the long run. But we do create “intentions” or “wishes”. Sometimes, especially with menopause brain, it’s hard to get started or to focus on what we want to manifest next.

Friend and sister goddess, Robin Blanc Mascari shares with us two sets of simple yet profound questions. One set is designed to help guide us through re-viewing 2007 and the other is geared to helping us envision our own 2008. Enjoy them - I really did. Perhaps you’ll think of more questions that we might ask ourselves - let us know your thoughts in the comments. (Note: a pdf copy of the questions is available for download at the end of this blog entry.)

COMPLETING AND REMEMBERING 2007

What was your biggest triumph in 2007?

What was the smartest decision you made in 2007?

What one word best sums up and describes your 2007 experience?

What was the greatest lesson you learned in 2007?

What was the most loving service you performed in 2007?

What is your biggest piece of unfinished business in 2007?

What are you most happy about completing in 2007?

Who were the three people that had the greatest impact on your life in 2007?

What was the biggest risk you took in 2007?

What was the biggest surprise in 2007?

What important relationship improved the most in 2007?

What compliment would you liked to have received in 2007?

What compliment would you liked to have given in 2007?

What else do you need to do or say to be complete with 2007?

CREATING 2008

What would you like to be your greatest triumph in 2008?

What advice would you like to give yourself in 2008?

What is the major effort you are planning to improve your financial results in 2008?

What would you be most happy about completing in 2008?

What major indulgence are you willing to experience in 2008?

What would you like to change about yourself in 2008?

What are you looking forward to learning in 2008?

What do you think will be your greatest risk in 2008?

What about your work are you most committed to changing and improving in 2008?

What is one as yet undeveloped talent you are willing to explore in 2008?

What brings you the most joy and how are you going to do or have more of that in 2008?

Who or what, other than yourself, are you most committed to loving and serving in 2008?


What one word would you like to have as your theme in 2008?

Happy New Year to all you menopausal and midlife goddesses! Here’s hoping that 2008 brings you peace, joy, and cooling breezes!

Menopause and Christmas - A Recipe For Stress

Christmas and Menopause. These two things should not coexist in space and time. Each is overwhelming to midlife goddesses by itself. Together, they can bring us to our creaking knees.

This year, I vowed to myself, would be different. I’d be organized, but not anal-retentive. I’d go easy on the shopping (at first, I was going to make presents all year long - a goal jettisoned around Dec. 1 due to lack of inventory and initiative.) Most of all, I would relax into the Christmas spirit and ENJOY it without getting harried and hurried.

Long story short: didn’t work. Baking went poorly with hot flashes competing with the oven for the high HEAT setting. Christmas letter hasn’t been sent because it has not been written. The little shopping I succumbed to was crazy as ever. Feeling of peace on Earth, goodwill to men? Right now, harder to hold onto than a greased mongoose.

I firmly believe that every menopausal women should have her very own contingent of elves to help her through the Christmas season. We need cookie baking elves, shopping elves, wrapping and decorating elves, and a couple elves just to fan us through this most hectic of holidays. (A blogging elf would be nice, too. As long as we’re dreaming.)

So I’m calling a halt to the frenzy. Seriously! No more faux Martha Stewart. I can BUY cookies if I really want them. I can write a Valentine’s Day letter this year. (Procrastination is a practical modality for menopausal women. Just let it go long enough and maybe it won’t have to be done.) Ix-nay on more shopping or wrapping. Likewise decorating: the tree’s upright and good enough. I’m going to put Slack Key Christmas Carols on the stereo, grab a cup of eggnog, and dive into a good book. Maybe I can celebrate this way for the next ten days. Maybe all menopausal goddesses could do the same. A season without sacrificing ourselves. That would truly be a Christmas miracle.

Visit our main blogsite at www.menopausegoddessblog.org for more.

Menopausal HDD (Hormone Deficit Disorder) Leads to ADD

Memory loss and brain fog swirling through my head are sadly not the only afflictions visited upon my poor mind with menopause. Oh no, seems it wasn’t enough that I can’t think clearly or remember a doggone thing. Now I get to add ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) to the list of mental whammys that accompany the Change.

Here’s an example occurring present tense, right this moment: I’m trying to write this next blog entry. What shall it be about? Midlife challenges and what will we be when we grow up? That’s a great one. But wait, there are goddesses still suffering horrendous hot flashes, maybe that’s what needs to be addressed next. Depression - that’s a biggie. No, what’s most important to look at is the question of whether or not to use HRT. I could devote several entries to that topic alone.

Like a hyperactive monkey swinging from branch to branch above the menopausal fray, my mind moves ever more quickly from thought to thought. Topics pass by in a blur. Hair growth in weird places, emotional roller coaster, loss of sex drive, hair thinning, acne, wrinkles, acne and wrinkles together, age spots, herbal remedies, dry EVERYTHING, help for depression, fear of everything, night sweats, bodacious tatas, weight gain, advice to our daughters, relationships, empty nests, a vision for the second half of life, and blah, blah, blah.

It’s overwhelming and makes me want to go into the kitchen for some chocolate or wine. Or chocolate AND wine. The only good news is that there is never a dearth of subjects when dealing with this time of life, so I ought to be writing this blog - well pretty much FOREVER.

Help me out if you can; let me know what topics YOU dear goddesses think should be talked about next. Otherwise, I’ll just let the monkey grab onto whatever topic he happens past and the blog entries will be in no particular order, rhyme, or reason. Kinda like menopause.

Visit our main blogsite at www.menopausegoddessblog.org

Riding The Waves of Midlife

As mentioned in the Thanksgiving blog entry, I have joined many of my menopausal goddess sisters in giving up worry about looking silly or foolish or clumsy. Which is why I’m suddenly willing to try anything and everything that interests me. I’m asking myself “What do I want to do, to be, to experience?” At the age of 52, I am giving myself a signed permission slip to go on any field trip I wish. (It does help to have family and friends who are in favor of my growth and development!)

So on a glorious day this November, I found myself on the beach in Waikiki for my first surfing lesson. My buddy Jack Davis (guru of the Photoshop WOW books) coaxed and coddled me through catching my first waves on a board roughly the size of an aircraft carrier. My couple of actual rides were exhilarating and addicting. The dozens of wipeouts and falls were less so, but definitely part of the whole experiential package. I dragged my weary carcass back to the beach exhausted, fulfilled, and inordinately proud of my “board rash”. (Accompanying photo is courtesy of Jack, my surfing coach.)

Am I now going to be a surf bunny? (Is there even such a thing?) Probably not. I will likely surf the baby waves once in a while. I don’t know if I’m ready to invest the time and energy involved in actually mastering the sport.

This I do know: the changes of midlife come in waves - and I’m gonna be ready to ride them with as much grace as I can muster. Sure, I’ll fall. Spectacularly at times. And then I’ll drag myself back up on the board, yell “Woohoo” and paddle out to catch the next swell.
(Visit our main blog to comment and for lots more: www.menopausegoddessblog.org)

A Case of the Menoblahs

Menopause is not a disease, but it sure feels like one sometimes. One with no end in sight. Today, I have the “menoblahs”, a sort of undefinable lethargy that has struck all of us goddesses at one time or another. We joke about taking short personal vacations in the tropics (hot flashes), however it’s less humorous when you actually live in the tropics! And working on this book, it seems that my life revolves around the Change and the changes it has wrought. But I know that this is NORMAL and I know that this too shall pass. Most important, I know that I’m not alone; that my sister goddesses offer support, understanding, and chocolate when they are most needed.

Becoming Goddesses

Why Menopausal Goddesses? Well, our core group of midlife “sisters” decided that we were certainly becoming ‘something’ with all the changes besieging us at this time of life. Werewoman felt like a possibility; some of the changes so altered our physical, mental, and emotional makeup. In the long run though, that image didn’t appeal to us, so we decided with our tongues stuck to the inner lining of our cheeks that we were becoming a new kind of goddess. Not fertile, not lissome and youthful, certainly not a siren for the male species. We were Menopausal Goddesses.

Since there didn’t appear to be a model for this new goddess, it seemed we’d have to make up our own rendering. As official Scribe for the Goddesses, I was assigned the task of honing in on the description of who we were becoming.

I found the word goddess in the dictionary situated between goblin and godsend, pretty much how I feel about myself these days. There were three definitions to ponder:

1. female deity or god - that certainly didn’t fit.
2. A woman of extraordinary beauty and charm - well maybe.......
3. A greatly admired or adored woman - hmmmmmmm

My desire is to be goddess # 3 - admired and adored, primarily by the one person whose affections I haven’t sought: ME. This may be the one of the biggest changes of menopause and midlife: a switch from a primarily external focus on others to one which begins to create a new and significant relationship - with ourselves. Embarking on this new relationship will likely be equal parts exciting, challenging, and scary. But like the rest of this journey, it probably won’t be dull!

Hitting the Pause Button (Menopause Button, That Is)

Just about the time that ‘miss’ became ‘ma’am’ and compliments took a backhanded turn, (gee, you look good.......for your age), Menopause burst through the door like an unwanted guest. As it turned out, big M had come for an extended stay.

She is not a low maintenance, easy-to-be-with visitor. On the contrary, she has been intrusive as hell. She fully disrupted my life and that of my spouse. The only good news? Her sisters were moving in with my girlfriends.

So a group of us would-be goddess girlfriends have bonded together, trying to find a way to deal with the new guest taking up residence in every facet of our lives. Meeting for the last 3+ years, we’ve laughed, cried, cursed, and celebrated. We needed sanctuary from the profusion and confusion of information flooding bookshelves, media, and the web. Wisdom is what we sought. Real women sharing experience, sister to trusted sister, has helped us make some sense of the changes, and allowed for an uneasy truce with Big M. And now we are reaching out to expand our community of midlife goddesses through this blog, because the most important thing we’ve learned is that WE CANNOT DO THIS ALONE! (Soon to come: a book of our adventures confronting not only menopause, but midlife and beyond. Stay tuned.) Be sure to visit our main blog site at menopausegoddessblog.org.