Happy New Year To Menopausal Goddesses Everywhere

It’s that time again - time to peek back at the year coming to a close and to look ahead to creating a brand new year.

I used to forget to look back at how much I had accomplished, enjoyed, and lived each year. I was much too focused on what lay ahead and how I might want to improve myself. You know: more exercise, better health habits, being more organized, blah blah blah.

About six years ago, I started doing “Done Lists” at the end of each year, in order to not only celebrate what I’d lived, but to freaking REMEMBER it! With the advent of menopause, remembering became a lost art, that needed a little nudge (I used my calendar to make notes all year and that helped me re-view what happened.)

After celebrating the passing year, it’s natural to then look ahead to the coming one. Every New Year’s eve, I have this delicious feeling of a clean slate with all possibilities open. Most of us goddesses don’t make New Year’s resolutions anymore. We know that particular activity to be a slippery, guilt-iced slope that will only irritate us in the long run. But we do create “intentions” or “wishes”. Sometimes, especially with menopause brain, it’s hard to get started or to focus on what we want to manifest next.

Friend and sister goddess, Robin Blanc Mascari shares with us two sets of simple yet profound questions. One set is designed to help guide us through re-viewing 2007 and the other is geared to helping us envision our own 2008. Enjoy them - I really did. Perhaps you’ll think of more questions that we might ask ourselves - let us know your thoughts in the comments. (Note: a pdf copy of the questions is available for download at the end of this blog entry.)

COMPLETING AND REMEMBERING 2007

What was your biggest triumph in 2007?

What was the smartest decision you made in 2007?

What one word best sums up and describes your 2007 experience?

What was the greatest lesson you learned in 2007?

What was the most loving service you performed in 2007?

What is your biggest piece of unfinished business in 2007?

What are you most happy about completing in 2007?

Who were the three people that had the greatest impact on your life in 2007?

What was the biggest risk you took in 2007?

What was the biggest surprise in 2007?

What important relationship improved the most in 2007?

What compliment would you liked to have received in 2007?

What compliment would you liked to have given in 2007?

What else do you need to do or say to be complete with 2007?

CREATING 2008

What would you like to be your greatest triumph in 2008?

What advice would you like to give yourself in 2008?

What is the major effort you are planning to improve your financial results in 2008?

What would you be most happy about completing in 2008?

What major indulgence are you willing to experience in 2008?

What would you like to change about yourself in 2008?

What are you looking forward to learning in 2008?

What do you think will be your greatest risk in 2008?

What about your work are you most committed to changing and improving in 2008?

What is one as yet undeveloped talent you are willing to explore in 2008?

What brings you the most joy and how are you going to do or have more of that in 2008?

Who or what, other than yourself, are you most committed to loving and serving in 2008?


What one word would you like to have as your theme in 2008?

Happy New Year to all you menopausal and midlife goddesses! Here’s hoping that 2008 brings you peace, joy, and cooling breezes!

Menopause and Christmas - A Recipe For Stress

Christmas and Menopause. These two things should not coexist in space and time. Each is overwhelming to midlife goddesses by itself. Together, they can bring us to our creaking knees.

This year, I vowed to myself, would be different. I’d be organized, but not anal-retentive. I’d go easy on the shopping (at first, I was going to make presents all year long - a goal jettisoned around Dec. 1 due to lack of inventory and initiative.) Most of all, I would relax into the Christmas spirit and ENJOY it without getting harried and hurried.

Long story short: didn’t work. Baking went poorly with hot flashes competing with the oven for the high HEAT setting. Christmas letter hasn’t been sent because it has not been written. The little shopping I succumbed to was crazy as ever. Feeling of peace on Earth, goodwill to men? Right now, harder to hold onto than a greased mongoose.

I firmly believe that every menopausal women should have her very own contingent of elves to help her through the Christmas season. We need cookie baking elves, shopping elves, wrapping and decorating elves, and a couple elves just to fan us through this most hectic of holidays. (A blogging elf would be nice, too. As long as we’re dreaming.)

So I’m calling a halt to the frenzy. Seriously! No more faux Martha Stewart. I can BUY cookies if I really want them. I can write a Valentine’s Day letter this year. (Procrastination is a practical modality for menopausal women. Just let it go long enough and maybe it won’t have to be done.) Ix-nay on more shopping or wrapping. Likewise decorating: the tree’s upright and good enough. I’m going to put Slack Key Christmas Carols on the stereo, grab a cup of eggnog, and dive into a good book. Maybe I can celebrate this way for the next ten days. Maybe all menopausal goddesses could do the same. A season without sacrificing ourselves. That would truly be a Christmas miracle.

Visit our main blogsite at www.menopausegoddessblog.org for more.

Menopausal HDD (Hormone Deficit Disorder) Leads to ADD

Memory loss and brain fog swirling through my head are sadly not the only afflictions visited upon my poor mind with menopause. Oh no, seems it wasn’t enough that I can’t think clearly or remember a doggone thing. Now I get to add ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) to the list of mental whammys that accompany the Change.

Here’s an example occurring present tense, right this moment: I’m trying to write this next blog entry. What shall it be about? Midlife challenges and what will we be when we grow up? That’s a great one. But wait, there are goddesses still suffering horrendous hot flashes, maybe that’s what needs to be addressed next. Depression - that’s a biggie. No, what’s most important to look at is the question of whether or not to use HRT. I could devote several entries to that topic alone.

Like a hyperactive monkey swinging from branch to branch above the menopausal fray, my mind moves ever more quickly from thought to thought. Topics pass by in a blur. Hair growth in weird places, emotional roller coaster, loss of sex drive, hair thinning, acne, wrinkles, acne and wrinkles together, age spots, herbal remedies, dry EVERYTHING, help for depression, fear of everything, night sweats, bodacious tatas, weight gain, advice to our daughters, relationships, empty nests, a vision for the second half of life, and blah, blah, blah.

It’s overwhelming and makes me want to go into the kitchen for some chocolate or wine. Or chocolate AND wine. The only good news is that there is never a dearth of subjects when dealing with this time of life, so I ought to be writing this blog - well pretty much FOREVER.

Help me out if you can; let me know what topics YOU dear goddesses think should be talked about next. Otherwise, I’ll just let the monkey grab onto whatever topic he happens past and the blog entries will be in no particular order, rhyme, or reason. Kinda like menopause.

Visit our main blogsite at www.menopausegoddessblog.org

Riding The Waves of Midlife

As mentioned in the Thanksgiving blog entry, I have joined many of my menopausal goddess sisters in giving up worry about looking silly or foolish or clumsy. Which is why I’m suddenly willing to try anything and everything that interests me. I’m asking myself “What do I want to do, to be, to experience?” At the age of 52, I am giving myself a signed permission slip to go on any field trip I wish. (It does help to have family and friends who are in favor of my growth and development!)

So on a glorious day this November, I found myself on the beach in Waikiki for my first surfing lesson. My buddy Jack Davis (guru of the Photoshop WOW books) coaxed and coddled me through catching my first waves on a board roughly the size of an aircraft carrier. My couple of actual rides were exhilarating and addicting. The dozens of wipeouts and falls were less so, but definitely part of the whole experiential package. I dragged my weary carcass back to the beach exhausted, fulfilled, and inordinately proud of my “board rash”. (Accompanying photo is courtesy of Jack, my surfing coach.)

Am I now going to be a surf bunny? (Is there even such a thing?) Probably not. I will likely surf the baby waves once in a while. I don’t know if I’m ready to invest the time and energy involved in actually mastering the sport.

This I do know: the changes of midlife come in waves - and I’m gonna be ready to ride them with as much grace as I can muster. Sure, I’ll fall. Spectacularly at times. And then I’ll drag myself back up on the board, yell “Woohoo” and paddle out to catch the next swell.
(Visit our main blog to comment and for lots more: www.menopausegoddessblog.org)

Thankful For Menopause

It’s Thanksgiving already - time to take stock of things that inspire gratitude. I find that I have so much to be grateful for: family and friends, the beauty outside my window, cats, sunsets, Jimmy Buffett songs, art projects, home renovation that is FINISHED, rain, boat rides, and cheeseburgers. The list goes on and on.

And strangely enough, I’m also grateful for menopause. Oh, don’t get me wrong; I’m not wild about hot flashes, weight gain, dryness, or hair thinning. I am an incurable optimist, but I’m not crazy! (Yet). I’d give up the physical changes, emotional rollercoaster and mental derangements in a hot minute.

I’d be less anxious to give up the unexpected side benefits of the big M. I love this newfound feeling of comfort in my skin. I’m enjoying dabbling in art and dance and other “electives”, since I worry less about looking foolish. I give more out of genuine desire and less out of obligation.

I don’t do things anymore just because I always have or because I should. My husband suggested that we go out for Thanksgiving dinner this year. I loved the idea and made reservations right away. There won’t be a turkey roasting in our house this year, but there also won’t be a menopausal woman (moi) roasting. How great is that?

So yes, I’m grateful for menopause for startling me into questioning just about everything. I don’t have any answers yet, but I sure am delighting in the inquiry. Most of all, I’m grateful for my goddess sisters who are accompanying and supporting me on this journey. Thanksgiving blessings to you all!
For more on menopause and midlife issues visit our main blog at www.menopausegoddessblog.org. Our new book "Venus Comes of Age, The Wit and Wisdom of Menopausal Goddeesses" will be out soon.

Burn It Again For The First Time, Menopause Goddesses Escape The Tyranny of Constrictive Clothing

While I didn’t actually burn my bra the first time back in the late 60’s/early 70’s, I did so symbolically. I simply refused to wear one in honor of the emancipation of women. Of course, I caved later when I entered the workplace, strapping myself into my 34B harness every day. It didn’t bother me all that much at the time. Now with the advent of menopause, a lot of us are ‘burning’ our bras. (Okay, not really - we don’t want to contribute to air pollution.) However, we are saying good-by to discomfort, binding, and entrapping clothing. Maybe it’s also time to let go of uncomfortable and constricting ways of being. We can break free - just like we did in the 60’s. (Visit our site at menopausegoddessblog.org)

Menopause Brain Strikes Again

For the past three days, I planned to write a humorous and helpful blog entry about........I forget. Menopause brain has warped my ability to think, remember and carry out simple tasks. So the only thing to do is write about the FOG.

Perhaps the most prevalent of the menopausal mental changes is also the most disconcerting. Virtually overnight, a bank of fog seeps into our minds. It fuzzes and blurs our cognitive functioning. It’s as if our synapses, which previously struck with the sharp accuracy of lightning bolts have morphed into heat lightning, flickering from brain cell to brain cell randomly, without completing the intended circuit. Eventually, impulses seem to trickle down to a usable thought, but the overall thinking seems to be fuzzy, slow, and thick.

This mental torpor makes it difficult to focus on tasks requiring mental clarity and concentration. Even simple things we’ve done for years such as balancing our checkbooks or paying bills seem like Herculean efforts. Tasks we used to do easily and quickly turn laborious. We make more mistakes. None of it is easy. Every menopausal woman we’ve talked with has said “I just hope my brain comes back.”

I’m off to drink my gingko biloba tea.....if I can just remember where I put it!

(adapted from our upcoming book "Venus Comes of Age")